Phone calls and more oddities

One thing at the time. First an update on the works out in the patio: so they came, with their shovels and their witch broom (only AZ here will know what I am talking about) and they dug a trench. On the doorstep there is a pile of soil and dirt is everywhere (as expected). A massive hole on the other side of the gate is now where once the driveway was. So they came...and they went (on their broom?). Puff! No trace of them today for the whole day. Only the flies are left wandering about my wrecked front patio. The weekend starts tomorrow so it can’t be that and anyway in this country labourers work 6 days per week. So where are they? Mystery. Possibly looking for material.. as you know, you always start digging and then check that nothing is missing…

On another note. This morning my phone rang and it rang and it rang; teaching me the invaluable lesson that switching the phone to vibrate to prevent it from disturbing everybody during a peaceful Yoga class is .. not as effective as switching it off (or at least silent and still).

Anyway at the end of the lesson, once far enough from the class so not to give away the fact that the phone that was vibrating was in fact mine I checked the missed call. It was a 24 number which here means a call from an office or a home. I tried to think hard about who might have wanted to talk to me so desperately (the phone went on and on for what seemed an eternity while I was trying to ignore it and concentrate on my contorted pose.. ending up in totally the wrong position.. but that’s another story). Anyway, I never do this usually (my idea is that if it’s important people will call back) but I was weak and curiosity got the better of me so I called back. As soon as the voice answered at the other end I knew I had made a mistake but for some reason I continued…

A man with a local accent answers.

-    Me: hello?
-    Man: Hello
-    Me: hello my name is xxx I have a missed call from this number. Can you help?
-    Man: where are you from?
-    Me: (a bit confused) uh? I’m from xxx (I give the country – in retrospective I think he wanted to know which company, but what did I know??)
-    Man: Very nice. Hello.
-    Me: (irritated) excuse me but who are you? You called my number earlier!
-    Man: we are bank xxx
(it’s my bank.. hmm I love their professional ways)
-    Me: OK. What did you call me for?
-    Man: We are bank xxx. What’s your name?
I give my name but I don’t think it makes any sense so he also asks for my telephone number. Thinking technology I give that out too… maybe he will finally type it into a system and understand who I am and tell why he called me.
Man: where is your branch?
(The technology image instantly dissipates replaced by him scribbling on a piece of scrap paper.)
I give him  the branch too. Then I start wondering if I am giving too much information.
Man: ah you work there? (the place near the bank)
Me: (still a little irritated) no, I don’t. My husband does.

So we go back and forth for another few minutes while I am still wondering why on earth they called me.
He asks me to hold for what feels like an eternity while I hear him fidgeting with the phone keypads (possibly trying to transfer a call?).

I hear all sorts of conversations behind and further attempts at keypad fidgeting until I give up and hang up. “He’ll call back” I think to myself.

So he does. While I am driving. So I park on the side of the road and answer (I am not going to say otherwise, am I?). The man is back, this time he makes amazing offers about this special account that provides the opportunity of a 1 million Rial draw*, every month or something like that.
He goes on for a while with a list of all the amazing draws I would be entered into if I open this account.
He asks me if I have this “super duper” account. I haven’t got the foggiest. He asks me for my existing account number so that he can check.
Me: sorry mate. Ain’t giving you any account number over the phone. I’ll pop into the branch when I have time to check this amazing offer. Thank you.
Man: OK!

End of the random conversation.

For the next half hour I drive home wondering whether I gave my few personal details to some fraudster who was trying to get to my bank account. But then thinking about it again I don’t think so. I think it was a genuinely professional marketing call from my bank.

Does your bank in the UK reward you with such delightful telephone exchanges? Next time you call them or they call you, they introduce themselves by name, read a script and force you to go through the ridiculously long security check questions be grateful!

* A note on the draw system for those who don’t know: here (by law) banks cannot pay interest on any account. Under Shariah Islamic law, making money from money, such as charging interest, is usury and therefore not permitted. But obviously the bank still needs to make money out of your dosh so it offers “saving” accounts. It wouldn’t be right if they didn’t share the profit and also why would you give them the money to play with in the first place anyway? So they have created this interesting draw system where one lucky winner each month (and sometimes on a weekly basis) ends up with an incredible amount of money in their account. Not sure what the odds are but somehow I think better than the UK Lotto. Brilliant! ;)
If you want to know a bit more on this just Google “bank interest and sharia law”. There is a lot to learn!